You see, circa 1928, God noticed that women were being oppressed by men. I mean, not that he didn't notice earlier, just that he decided to let things take their due course. Sure, somewhere in his recorded word it's states that wives should submit to husbands and husbands should love their wives, but as usual, we men were not holding up our end of the bargain, so naturally, women decided not to hold up their end of the bargain too.

So God saw ahead into World War II, and noticed that amongst all the killing and torture, it would be a good time for women to rise up, and bring themselves onto equal level with men. But alas, he also noticed that women did not have anyone to be inspired by and to emulate.

Come 4th May 1929, some time around 9.15 am in Heaven, between drinking His tea, reading the Heavenly Chronicle and chatting with Jesus, God breathed life into one of his creations. However, since he was doing the European thing, drinking tea and eating crumpets for breakfast, He decided to do the European thing and give this blessed creation a kiss on both cheeks too. Just a light peck on her soon to be marvelous cheek bones, just enough to make her the most beautiful woman ever to grace the surface of this earth.

"Off you go now," He said. "I'll be watching over you, as I do everyone. Go change the life of a boy called Mark, he's a bit of a retard sometimes... okay, maybe most of the time, but if he ever decides to get off his bloomin' arse and start doing something with his life, he will do great things. See you back here in abit."

And that, my dear blog readers, is how we got the eternally glamorous Miss Hepburn.