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What makes a woman say "Yes" or "No?" This was one of the questions that arose from our poetry discussion in class today. No one really answered this in class, so I figured I might give my opinion here. When I talk about saying "yes," or "no," I am referring to giving permission or lack thereof for sexual behavior.
There are several reasons for saying "yes." The first of these is love. I think women are way more inclined to have sex when they are in love with their prospective partner. Some women consider sex as purely a physical act, but most equate sex with love in my opinion. Those that consider sex a purely physical act, may be motivated force other than love. Some women give or withhold sex as a way of getting what they want. Sex facilitates greed. Sex is also a way of asserting their power over their partner. Some feel that this behavior is ultimately worthwhile. I see it as a huge denial of the simple physical pleasure of sex itself.
Some people may read this and automatically assume that I have a rather cavalier attitude about sex. To some extent, I do. I think women are taught way too often about the "horrors" of sex. We are told from the very beginning about pregnancy and disease, and "boys that only want one thing." We are not taught about the pleasurable aspects of sexual behavior. Some women look at sex and all types of sexual behavior as something to do to please a man. Women are not taught about how it can be pleasurable for them, and what to do to make that happen. Those that figure it out, are automatically laeled as "sluts," or worse. In my opinion, that is the worst thing, and all it takes to change it is opening your mind.
Posted by Nicole Haralambidis on 2/18/04; 9:57:30 PM
from the dept.
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